Posts Tagged ‘pain’

Wait I Want A DO-OVER!!

Friday, December 11th, 2009

Okay so here it was going on 8:30 am, time to get up so we can start this “wonderful day” trekking Pops-In-Law all over bloody creation!  One problem…

No sleep for this guy!  Yup that’s right I couldn’t fall asleep for love nor money the night before!  It was the old toss and turn, watch the clock, pet the cat, run to the bathroom so as not to freeze, and then finally give up and head downstairs cause sleep just was not happening.

Alright we get on our way and I decided to take the Mrs. out for a quick inexpensive breakfast at Mickey D’s.  Not bad, it is getting better I begin to think, until on our way to eat this box truck decides to pull out in front of us and drop speed to about 15 in a 40.  Argh!!! We’ll deal no problem.  So at the 1st chance we get we get around the truck and off to breakfast we go.  Get there and who pulls in?  Yup you got it the truck!  Ah it’ll be gone when we leave.  Right! Not today it won’t.  No sooner do we start to pull out of our spot then the truck starts up and pulls out in front of us.  Okay he is turning left and we are going right so that will be that until he decides he needs the right and left sides of the driveway and sits there until absolutely no vehicles are in view before he pulls out.

On our way to get Pops to  take him to the eye doctor for a 10:30 appointment.  Get him and get there early only to find the waiting room completely full.  Doesn’t bother him as he fell a week ago Friday and is now using a wheelchair to get around.   Get settled and wait. 10 min, 30 min, 45 min, 1 hour, 1 hour and 2o minutes and finding out that the chart had been pulled, but placed down in the wrong spot by one of the eye dr.’s assistants that do the vision test he needed done.  In he goes for the test, boom that goes well, oops nope, report stops printing right in the middle of it!  They decide to take him to the next test and fix the issue while the doc sees him later.  So this test is a pressure test that checks the vessels in your eyes to see if they are blocked or constricted.  He needs to sit still for this one so they can get a computer image of the eye and vessels.  Does the 82 year old fidget master sit still? Yeah right!  Okay finally done and tell the lady that it is probably out of paper and that is why it stopped printing, basing it on the big pink streak running down the sides of the part that printed.  “Oh no it still prints for a while after that starts.”  So I finally get her to check and what is it? Yup out of paper thank you very much!  SO now off to the final room for the eye chart test and the doctor to give us the lowdown.

We sit there and wait as we watch the time for our next appointment come and slip past.  SO I call the next doctor, Pops’ D.O. and tell the receptionist that we are running late because of the delay at the eye doctor’s.  How late she asks, checking to see if she should tell us not to come.  I tell her that the Doc wants to see him today because of his fall and that we didn’t know how much longer it would be, and the eye doctor walks in and I tell her so I hung up.  He apologizes and tells us that an older patient just had a stroke in his lobby and he had to wait until the ambulance came before he came back here.

The eye doc checks everything and tells us that Pops unfortunately by state law, your vision must not exceed 20-50 in at least one eye (Pops is 20-100 and 20-25),  Pops passed.  Then he says “However, I really think that you shouldn’t be driving anymore as you failed the peripheral vision test very badly!”  Pops on the other hand tells him that his peripheral test doesn’t work and he isn’t going to take that again, and he still is going to drive.  So now we have an eye doctor, a DO and a phsyotrist all telling him that he should not be driving and he is going to anyway.  Take away his keys you say?!?  Okay we tried that and he just took a cab to the dealership and got a new set right down to the alarm fob!

Now off to the DO. Not bad just about 35- 40 minutes late.  We get there sign in and wow, this place moved quickly! Okay things are going to look up from here!  Whoops, spoke too soon!  On our way to pick up a ladder from the house of the properties manager for Pops, this ninny in a Ford Explorer XLS decides to change lanes.  He slammed right into our rear passenger side bumper as we are stopped waiting for traffic to move and the guy in front of him to finish pulling into our lane, my wife being the kind driver she is.  Well the boob changes lanes, or starts to, and never saw us sitting there, as he said,” so I never hit the brakes”, and then tried to change the story to that he slid into us when he tried to stop.

So now with a crunched in rear bumper, whiplash to me, my wife and pain back to my knees and all down both of our backs,………

I WANT A DO-OVER!!

The Truth or Not the Truth

Monday, October 8th, 2007

The Truth or Not the Truth that is the Question…

It seems that these days you can’t believe even what the Doctor tells you!  That’s right the Royal Physician hath fibbed to the King!  Well I can not blame the actual physician for the fib, it was actually the Anesthesiologist.  The operation the Doc performed was a beauty,  the healing is going great, except for some stomach pains that just seem to stay with me all the time.  The problem comes from one of those people who think that their SH** DON’T STINK!  I’ll tell you what theirs SURE AS HECK DID!  It was so bad a spraying skunk smells like a fine French Perfume compared to theirs!  Well maybe theirs did too perhaps like Eau De TURD En La Toilette!! 
Here’s the deal…
I was scheduled for my surgery with the normal anestesia process.  The Anesthesiologist comes in to meet me as I await the dreded time of carving.  Well talk about arrogant, loud pompus, better than you person with a major chip on their shoulder, this was her in a nut shell! She was so loud and spoke over everyone else as if the weren’t even in the room.
Tells me everything is good to go and should be no problem.  SO the tension eases and I start to relax just a bit. BIG MISTAKE!!  I get wheeled into the OR only to find out that she now is going to anestatize me by Epidoral in my spine!  YOUCHY OUCHY OOOOOH DOES IT HURT!  I didn’t mind the first two or three attempts, but when it got up to the 9th to 12th times I had it!!  Well they decide to give me a little in the old Oxygen mix and before I knew it it was time for me to wakey wakey!  SO I start to come out of it only to find that I am in the old Crucifix stretch on the OR table.  Boy did that do a number on my right shoulder that got injured in a car accident in 2005.  Well next thing I remember I was in my room telling them I had to use the facilities and was getting a pain in my tummy from having to go.  SO they Scan my bladder and tell me that I have less than 50 CCs of fluid in there so I shouldn’t have to go.  I say well tell it to my tummy it hurts and I have to go.  So they help me from the bed to my “FEET” that I only feel pins and needles for,and proceed to waddle to the Bathroom, only to find out that I pulled a Hansel and Gretel the entire way.  So now they ask me if I can feel my parts and I say some of them, so they ask if I want to stay the night.  Of course I want to be home and say NO. In the meantime I have NO CLUE what they are asking or what is going on from the Medication after effects.  SO its cover up, change clothes and wheel me away bandaged belly, pain med pump and all.  SO we get to the van and now I have to stand up and get into the van——Yeah like that’s gonna happen!!  Well after 3 failed attempts it was call in the reenforcements!!  That’s right my darlings it took 2 security guards, 1 nurse and my wife to help hoist this buttocks up and steady it while I got out of the chair and into the van!!  Hourray its off to the old castle we go!!

We get home I manage to get in the house, get changed and settle into the guest room that my wife and daughter had setup for me.
Ah sleep what a glorious thing it is at that!!  SO I sleep away the majority of that day and into the next barring the trips to the bathroom.

Then it starts!!  The killer headaches, sweats and nausea hit anytime I go from a laying down position to upright.  As the day goes on the pain and all get worse and worse.  SO the wife calls the doctor and gets anti-nausea pills and that does absolutely nothing.  Then the next day it had gotten so bad it is off to the ER!!  DIAGNOSIS——SPINAL FLUID HEADACHES!  How you ask did this occur?  It seems that our most arrogant and pompous Anesthesiologist did it to me by puncturing the membrane in my spinal column on one of her attempts at the Epidural!!  SO heavy pain meds, LOTS and LOTS of Caffeine and 3 wasted days in the hospital the headaches ebb enough for me to go home!!  Yippee!  You see I was lucky that the caffeine worked, for if it didn’t, then they would have to give me a “Blood Patch Epidural”.  What is that you ask – – – well that is when they take your own blood and give you another Epidural so that it can scab over the hole in the membrane and seal the puncture.  Well here is the problem – it’s a Crap Shoot!!  They have to find the one that caused the problem, remember there were 12 attempts that we could count after the fact, who is to say which one caused the problem and there is always the chance that she could puncture the membrane again and then things would be worse!!  Yep it sure was a good thing that the Caffeine worked on this here King!!

Kings Edict: Don’t ever trust a pompous Anesthesiologist especially when they change the game plan!!

Just Another Day in Paradise!

Thursday, February 1st, 2007

The sun rises and the cool air briskly whistles across the yard and then …
Ah yes the lovely wind! Nature’s surefire way to drive you bananas!! SO needless to say when we got hit with the nice winds accompanying the “Arctic Blast”, I should have guessed that the fun was about to begin! Chasing garden cart/wheelbarrow, plastic chairs and the miscellaneous garbage that blew in from who knows where was just the beginning. Ah yes the pièce de résistance, the support poles for the patio roof that happened to fall down because the lovely wind lifted the roofing/cover up and down all night resulting in 2 of the secondary support poles working themselves loose only to come crashing down startling the begieses out of us. So being the diligent sole that I am, I go running outside in my “PJs” to remedy the situation. Alas there were no servants up in this kingdom at those wee hours of the A of M. Yup that is correct, his majesty was outside in all his royal glory at 3:00 in the morning trying to place the poles back up as they belong! Oh yes did I mention the fact that it was 18 degrees and the winds were at 25 to 30 mph ever so nicely lowering the temperature to about -10 to 15 below zero!! Yeah for the birth of an “Icicle Pop!!! Well finishing this as quickly as possible, remembering how much my shoulder was killing me and elbow was as useless as ever, what should have taken 5 maybe 10 minutes took all of 15 to twenty for lack of strength and excessive pain, I proceed to retire yet again for the evening only to be serenaded again by the lovely crash ping ping ping of the poles returning to their prone positions. Perhaps they too were attempting to remove themselves from the effects of the howling Arctic winds? Alas we will never know!!! Yup “Just Another Day in Paradise!! raspberry

Without Pain What Would There Be?

Friday, October 20th, 2006

Did you ever think that at one point in your life that your days would be rated on a “Pain Scale”?

Tonight I sat on my couch while the Queen had headed off to the Royal Chambers, she hasn’t been feeling up to par lately.

Thinking about how things were when we first had been wed, the energy and verve of life, the constant willingness to want to do things and the energy to do them. Who would have thought that in the 6 years that we have been married my life would have changed so much. Please don’t misconstrue what I am saying, I love the Queen and the fair Princesses that I now have as my family, and would never change the fact that we were wed, nor do I have any doubts or second thoughts. What I am saying is that in the 6 short years my life has changed drastically. I have watched my Queen and myself become physically and mentally chopped down to our proverbial quick.

To sum it up here are some of the major contributors.

  • 4 days after moving family from MI to NY King forced to return to Houston Texas as the AC pipe leaks through the kitchen ceiling
  • Queen given ultimatum from job, return to MI or let go, (telecommuting jealousy issue), there goes major second income!
  • King gets sick, asthma kicks his royal but!!
  • 9/11 strikes and job market tanks in NY and nation’s unemployment rates hit highs
  • Oops here comes LTD (long term disability) and Salary cut
  • Queen’s main job is chauffeur to King trips to physicians reach high levels and hospitalizations occur. Queen’s employers don’t understand and let her go, King hits all time low as he knows it is his fault.
  • Queen’s depression increases as jobs are non existent for required availability.
  • Queen starts Corporation and opens On-line Store, Yippee!! , if only it were as successful as we hoped!! ( check it out A Trove of Treasures)
  • Queen and King in Car Accident
  • Castle Floods from 8 days of torrential rains!!
  • King trips in Bank
  • Queen has cyst on knee
  • Queen and King van gets backed into at gas station
  • Bank says not at fault King didn’t lift feet high enough entering bank!
  • Physical therapy not working, King recommended for possible shoulder surgery

    Well now the Queen has a stomach ailment that will not quit! SO what now? We constantly try to find the silver lining, but I guess my glasses are near sighted worse than I am!!
    I guess you don’t get given more than you can handle, or so they say. I do count my blessings, the Princesses, the Queen the Royal Canines, The Royal Fishy – Beau, and the fact that we get up every morning and have friends and loved ones that do care about us. Hmm I guess things could be worse!!

  • Ready Aim Fire!!

    Monday, May 29th, 2006

    Hear Ye Hear Ye!!…. The KING DOTH RETURN FROM HIATUS!!
    Well tis a sad state of affairs when thou dost find out that his royal one is practicing for a new career!! Yup tis correct, unlike the good sovereign of yesteryear, our devoted highness has been seen recently sailing the bounty main training to join the ranks of those scallywags. The dread Buccaneers of the Long Island Sound!! Yes tis a fact that he has been honing up his artillery skills shooting cannons aboard the HMS DELL!! I must say that he hath become a cracker jack shot and a “Living Legend” as called by the teachers of such arts!! Yup that is right I have been slacking off and playing “Pirate Poppers”!! What can I say “It’s Good To Be The King!!”

    On a secondary note her highness the Queen is a bit in the ouchies of late as she is suffering from an ailment to the knee and must go visit yon orthopedist, aka apothecary. SO if you can all well wishes are much appreciated as her spirits do need to be risen a tadicome.

    So today’s Royal Edict: It is best not to put off until the morrow what thou can do today, unless of course thou art the King!! Once again- – – AH Tis Good To Be The King!!

    Hear Ye Hear Ye - YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT On The KING!!

    Thursday, May 18th, 2006

    Alas as is true to form His Royal Majesty the King has once again fallen prey to an attempt on his existence!!
    After weeks of recovery and beginning to feel as if finally tides were at last heading in the right direction, an attempt was once again made on Our Benevolent Despot! The King hath ventured forth unto the distant realm of Sir Mickey of Dee’s, aka the dwelling of Lord Ronald of McDonald, to partake in a most bountiful feast for the A of M repast. Upon delivery of the youngest of the Princesses to the Abbey of Education, as she be burdenedeth with the trunks of travel for her journey to the Falls of Niagara this weeks end, myself, the King, my Queen and the eldest of the Princesses hath decided that we would graciously accept the invitation to morning repast at Lord McDonald’s abode. As I hath felt that I no longer was suffering from the last attempt on my gizzards, I did as every Ruler hath done at one era or another in his life, Indulgeth in too much edible delicacies. Unbeknownst to his highness the repast hath been laced with too much of the apothecaries mix of gorge, aka fat content. As the clock did pass 20 of the minutes after he doth consume the tainted edibles, Our despot did receive the infliction of massive pain unto the Gall of Bladder!! Alas once again His Highness doth suffer the ails and ills of his attacker and thus be forced to retire to his chambers anon.
    Thus leadeth us unto the Royal Edict for this evening: No matter how one doth feel after suffering the ills of injury, sickness or attempted harm, think with thine head lest ye be once again suffering the same ails!!

    Hear Ye Hear Ye The King Still Lives!!

    Thursday, May 11th, 2006

    Despite all attempts Our Monarch Lives!!
    Much apologies for the lack of edicts of late, but an attempt on Our Beloved Ruler’s life was made recently!

    Whilst entering into the treasury room of the castle, I entangled my foot with a floor runner which lifted it up and proceeded to ensnare the other foot. (Blast the feeble minded keep cleaners for leaving the ensnarement. They must have been in cahoots with the assassins!)

    Once entangled, I was left with no way to maintain my regal upright stature and therefore began a forward/downward kerplunk, although, I did maintain my poise and dignity in the process, yeah right!! As I crashed down, I slammed one knee into the window wall and then onto the tile floor, slammed the other knee into the wall and twisted both ankles and left toes rather heinously. At the same time I slammed down on my arm and inflicted a blackness to my eye. I must say, I gave that wall a dent, and the rug a rather harsh and stern scolding, unfortunately it retained it’s rather flipped attitude!

    So after numerous X-rays, MRI’s, ace bandages and cold packs, I still am suffering the indignities of wearing slippers upon the royal tootsies, normal boots do not fit over the swelling.
    Soon the physical therapies will commence on the royal appendages and recovery begins!

    So TONIGHT’S EDICT is “C Sharp thine surroundings Lest ye B flat”!!