Posts Tagged ‘surgery’

Can You See Me Now?

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

Well I knew it would come one day, but who would a thunk it would be so soon!  The eye doctor had told me that I had fast growing cataracts caused by steroids that I take to keep my asthma under control.  In New York the doctor decided that I could go without having them removed as long as I could see and they weren’t really bothering me too much.  All was well and good.  No in Michigan I went to have the eyes checked as I was getting more frequent headaches and eye pain as well as occasional blurring vision.  The verdict …. have them removed.  First thought—YIKES!!!

SO I prepared myself to have the surgery expecting as things usually go to have to wait two to three weeks.  Little did I know the doc was talking in days not weeks!  Well the day comes to be at the outpatient surgery center at the crack of 8 am and the nerves are going faster then the body is moving.  I get to the center and its zip right into the pre-op area to get put into one of these gowns, but at least if I were to go I was able to keep my pants and boots on so it wouldn’t be that embarrassing.  Now I lie down on the gurney and they check the vitals, name rank and serial number, which eye as only 1 gets done at a time. and the numbing eye drops begin.  After about 20 minutes of numbing drops and staff introductions it is into the OR for the slice and dice of the old eye lens and in with the new.  In the OR I’m given more numbing drops and an IV cocktail to calm me down for the operation.  Here I am thinking that I’ll be out cold for this, but unbeknownst to me you need to only be in a twilight condition.  This is so you have some control over your eye muscles.  So the doc starts the water flowing to the eye to keep it moist and lubricated and they have the speculum keeping the eye lids spread wide open. Then its slice and a sonic blast to the lens and then they suck it out.  Then they place the new one in and use the water to help set it in the right spot.  After a few minutes, about 25 to 30 minutes the doc says look up, look down, look right and finally look left.  Then its insert the antibacterial goop and you hear those lovely words… OK it looks great take him to the recovery area.

So you breathe the longest, deepest best deep breath you’ve ever had and next thing you know your wheeled over to an area in the prep room where your better half is waiting and they give you some crackers and juice and tell you to hold the cotton ball over the place where you just had the IV yanked out.  Then with one last check of the vitals and a quick change you receive the parting gift of new meds to put into your eye 4 to 6 times a day, the new “Old fogey” glasses, as my daughter and wife called them, the directions and signs to watch for trouble and the dos and do nots for the next month or so, you make the next appointment for the following day and it is homeward bound only to get there and pass out, on and off, for the majority of the day. 

I have to admit that once you get the first one done it is really awkward until the second one gets done!  Thankfully all went well for the first one and perhaps tomorrow I’ll recant the saga of eye number 2 and what transpired until that one was completed.

The Truth or Not the Truth

Monday, October 8th, 2007

The Truth or Not the Truth that is the Question…

It seems that these days you can’t believe even what the Doctor tells you!  That’s right the Royal Physician hath fibbed to the King!  Well I can not blame the actual physician for the fib, it was actually the Anesthesiologist.  The operation the Doc performed was a beauty,  the healing is going great, except for some stomach pains that just seem to stay with me all the time.  The problem comes from one of those people who think that their SH** DON’T STINK!  I’ll tell you what theirs SURE AS HECK DID!  It was so bad a spraying skunk smells like a fine French Perfume compared to theirs!  Well maybe theirs did too perhaps like Eau De TURD En La Toilette!! 
Here’s the deal…
I was scheduled for my surgery with the normal anestesia process.  The Anesthesiologist comes in to meet me as I await the dreded time of carving.  Well talk about arrogant, loud pompus, better than you person with a major chip on their shoulder, this was her in a nut shell! She was so loud and spoke over everyone else as if the weren’t even in the room.
Tells me everything is good to go and should be no problem.  SO the tension eases and I start to relax just a bit. BIG MISTAKE!!  I get wheeled into the OR only to find out that she now is going to anestatize me by Epidoral in my spine!  YOUCHY OUCHY OOOOOH DOES IT HURT!  I didn’t mind the first two or three attempts, but when it got up to the 9th to 12th times I had it!!  Well they decide to give me a little in the old Oxygen mix and before I knew it it was time for me to wakey wakey!  SO I start to come out of it only to find that I am in the old Crucifix stretch on the OR table.  Boy did that do a number on my right shoulder that got injured in a car accident in 2005.  Well next thing I remember I was in my room telling them I had to use the facilities and was getting a pain in my tummy from having to go.  SO they Scan my bladder and tell me that I have less than 50 CCs of fluid in there so I shouldn’t have to go.  I say well tell it to my tummy it hurts and I have to go.  So they help me from the bed to my “FEET” that I only feel pins and needles for,and proceed to waddle to the Bathroom, only to find out that I pulled a Hansel and Gretel the entire way.  So now they ask me if I can feel my parts and I say some of them, so they ask if I want to stay the night.  Of course I want to be home and say NO. In the meantime I have NO CLUE what they are asking or what is going on from the Medication after effects.  SO its cover up, change clothes and wheel me away bandaged belly, pain med pump and all.  SO we get to the van and now I have to stand up and get into the van——Yeah like that’s gonna happen!!  Well after 3 failed attempts it was call in the reenforcements!!  That’s right my darlings it took 2 security guards, 1 nurse and my wife to help hoist this buttocks up and steady it while I got out of the chair and into the van!!  Hourray its off to the old castle we go!!

We get home I manage to get in the house, get changed and settle into the guest room that my wife and daughter had setup for me.
Ah sleep what a glorious thing it is at that!!  SO I sleep away the majority of that day and into the next barring the trips to the bathroom.

Then it starts!!  The killer headaches, sweats and nausea hit anytime I go from a laying down position to upright.  As the day goes on the pain and all get worse and worse.  SO the wife calls the doctor and gets anti-nausea pills and that does absolutely nothing.  Then the next day it had gotten so bad it is off to the ER!!  DIAGNOSIS——SPINAL FLUID HEADACHES!  How you ask did this occur?  It seems that our most arrogant and pompous Anesthesiologist did it to me by puncturing the membrane in my spinal column on one of her attempts at the Epidural!!  SO heavy pain meds, LOTS and LOTS of Caffeine and 3 wasted days in the hospital the headaches ebb enough for me to go home!!  Yippee!  You see I was lucky that the caffeine worked, for if it didn’t, then they would have to give me a “Blood Patch Epidural”.  What is that you ask – – – well that is when they take your own blood and give you another Epidural so that it can scab over the hole in the membrane and seal the puncture.  Well here is the problem – it’s a Crap Shoot!!  They have to find the one that caused the problem, remember there were 12 attempts that we could count after the fact, who is to say which one caused the problem and there is always the chance that she could puncture the membrane again and then things would be worse!!  Yep it sure was a good thing that the Caffeine worked on this here King!!

Kings Edict: Don’t ever trust a pompous Anesthesiologist especially when they change the game plan!!

Without Pain What Would There Be?

Friday, October 20th, 2006

Did you ever think that at one point in your life that your days would be rated on a “Pain Scale”?

Tonight I sat on my couch while the Queen had headed off to the Royal Chambers, she hasn’t been feeling up to par lately.

Thinking about how things were when we first had been wed, the energy and verve of life, the constant willingness to want to do things and the energy to do them. Who would have thought that in the 6 years that we have been married my life would have changed so much. Please don’t misconstrue what I am saying, I love the Queen and the fair Princesses that I now have as my family, and would never change the fact that we were wed, nor do I have any doubts or second thoughts. What I am saying is that in the 6 short years my life has changed drastically. I have watched my Queen and myself become physically and mentally chopped down to our proverbial quick.

To sum it up here are some of the major contributors.

  • 4 days after moving family from MI to NY King forced to return to Houston Texas as the AC pipe leaks through the kitchen ceiling
  • Queen given ultimatum from job, return to MI or let go, (telecommuting jealousy issue), there goes major second income!
  • King gets sick, asthma kicks his royal but!!
  • 9/11 strikes and job market tanks in NY and nation’s unemployment rates hit highs
  • Oops here comes LTD (long term disability) and Salary cut
  • Queen’s main job is chauffeur to King trips to physicians reach high levels and hospitalizations occur. Queen’s employers don’t understand and let her go, King hits all time low as he knows it is his fault.
  • Queen’s depression increases as jobs are non existent for required availability.
  • Queen starts Corporation and opens On-line Store, Yippee!! , if only it were as successful as we hoped!! ( check it out A Trove of Treasures)
  • Queen and King in Car Accident
  • Castle Floods from 8 days of torrential rains!!
  • King trips in Bank
  • Queen has cyst on knee
  • Queen and King van gets backed into at gas station
  • Bank says not at fault King didn’t lift feet high enough entering bank!
  • Physical therapy not working, King recommended for possible shoulder surgery

    Well now the Queen has a stomach ailment that will not quit! SO what now? We constantly try to find the silver lining, but I guess my glasses are near sighted worse than I am!!
    I guess you don’t get given more than you can handle, or so they say. I do count my blessings, the Princesses, the Queen the Royal Canines, The Royal Fishy – Beau, and the fact that we get up every morning and have friends and loved ones that do care about us. Hmm I guess things could be worse!!